By Kelly McGonigal
Let’s kick this summary off with some powerful insights, shall we?
According to the American Psychological Association, the most effective stress-relief strategies are exercising, praying, reading, listening to music, spending time with friends, getting a massage, going outside for a walk, meditating, and spending time with a creative hobby.
On the other hand, the least effective strategies are gambling, shopping, smoking, drinking, eating, playing video games, surfing the Internet, and watching TV for more than two hours.
Book Overview
The Upside of Stress, by Kelly McGonigal, presents a counterintuitive view that stress can be beneficial and that our mindset towards stress can transform its impact on us. Here are 7 Power Lines based on the content of the book:
Stress is often perceived as harmful, but its effects largely depend on one's beliefs
Stress arises from situations we care about, ranging from everyday frustrations to significant losses. A 2006 study revealed that stress increased the risk of death by 43% in those who believed it was harmful, while those who didn't see stress as detrimental had the lowest death risk. Similarly, a Yale study found that positive attitudes towards aging extended life by 7.6 years, more than the benefits of exercise and not smoking.
These findings suggest that positive beliefs, or mindsets, significantly impact health and wellbeing. Viewing stress as helpful leads to proactive coping strategies and resilience, turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy of better stress management and confidence in handling challenges. The key is in shifting one's mindset towards stress, viewing it as a manageable and even beneficial part of life.
Stress responses are not just about fight-or-flight; they are also about developing the confidence required to go through difficult situations
A study at an Akron hospital found that traffic accident survivors with higher levels of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline were less likely to develop PTSD, suggesting stress can aid recovery in traumatic situations.
Modern life often doesn't permit fight-or-flight responses, as conflicts in relationships or at work require different strategies. Besides the traditional fight-or-flight, other positive stress responses exist. The 'challenge response' releases cortisol and adrenaline, fostering self-confidence and motivation to learn from tough situations. Another response, 'tend-and-befriend,' involves seeking support from loved ones, triggering the release of oxytocin, which promotes social bonding and caring relationships.
These positive stress responses not only help manage current stress but also act like a vaccine, leaving imprints on the brain. This 'training' helps the body and mind handle similar stress better in the future, demonstrating how experiencing stress can enhance our ability to cope with it over time.
“Stress hormones increase brain activity after a stress response to support learning and memory. This allows the brain to reflect on stressful experiences so that past experiences can condition and prepare the brain and body for how to react to future stress”
There is a surprising relationship between stress and quality of life. This was discovered in a Gallup World Poll
In 2005 and 2006, the poll asked over 125,000 people from various countries about their stress experiences. About a third reported high stress, with the Philippines at 67% and the US at 43%. Interestingly, countries with higher stress levels often had higher GDPs, longer life expectancies, and better living standards. In contrast, low-stress countries like Mauritania faced issues like corruption, poverty, and violence.
This leads to the "stress paradox": a stressful life often correlates with happiness and meaning, while a stress-free life doesn't guarantee happiness. Studies from Stanford and Florida State University support this, showing that those with more stressful events in their past often find their lives more meaningful. People typically find meaning in roles and responsibilities that are also their greatest stress sources. For instance, in the UK and Canada, having a baby and career responsibilities were cited as top stressors but are also significant sources of life meaning.
Additionally, research suggests that less stress can equate to less happiness. Being busy is often linked to happiness, which is why retirement, a period with reduced activity, can increase the risk of depression by 40%. This highlights how meaningful activities, though stressful, are crucial for a fulfilling life.
“Go after what it is that creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows.”
The way we think about stress significantly influences how we cope with it
In an era where stress is a common challenge, it's observed that some people handle stress better than others. The key difference lies in their perception of stress. Resilient individuals view stress as a normal part of life, recognizing it as an opportunity for growth and learning. This mindset prevents them from seeing every challenge as a catastrophe and helps them continue making choices to adapt to or change their situations.
This resilience often stems from past hardships. For instance, Theresa Betancourt's 2002 observation in Sierra Leone showed that child soldiers who endured extreme trauma were surprisingly resilient. Their harrowing experiences provided them with a broader perspective on daily problems and even inspired ambitious dreams. This suggests that past stress can foster strength and a positive outlook, indicating that shifting our mindset towards stress can enhance our ability to cope and grow from challenging experiences.
Facing our fears head-on can actually improve performance, as shown by research at Harvard Business School
Students preparing for speeches were instructed either to tell themselves "I am calm" or "I am excited." Those who said "I am excited" felt more confident, handled pressure better, and were seen as more persuasive and competent. This demonstrates that shifting your mindset to view anxiety as a source of energy can greatly enhance performance.
Using positive affirmations like "I am excited" is one effective method to transform stress into strength. It's crucial to embrace rather than avoid anxiety, as avoidance can lead to an unhelpful cycle of anxiety-avoidance. For instance, the author avoided flying due to fear, which only increased her anxiety. Eventually, she confronted this fear and, while still nervous, realized the benefits outweighed her anxiety. This example highlights the importance of facing anxieties to gain from them, rather than letting them control our actions.
Stress can be transformed into positive qualities through social interactions
The 'tend-and-befriend' response illustrates this, where stress encourages social behavior and empathy. This response involves the release of oxytocin, which reduces fear and increases feelings of empathy and trust. Additionally, dopamine release boosts confidence and optimism, while serotonin enhances perception, intuition, and self-control.
This biological process is activated when we choose to help others, even in small ways like comforting someone during a scary movie. Such actions can transform fear into hope. A UCLA study highlighted this effect: participants facing the prospect of their loved ones receiving electric shocks were given the choice to either squeeze a stress ball or hold their loved one's hand. Hand-holding increased activity in the brain's reward and caregiving centers and decreased activity in the amygdala, which is responsible for fear. In contrast, the stress ball had no effect on the amygdala. This demonstrates that connecting with others during stress is an effective way to manage it, as opposed to avoidance strategies that don't significantly reduce distress or anxiety.
The paradox of stress suggests that stressful experiences often lead to positive outcome
This idea, echoing ancient teachings, is supported by modern research. A study found that 82% of people cited past stressful experiences as sources of strength, demonstrating that adversity can be a powerful learning tool.
Conversely, psychologist Mark Seery's research indicates that a lack of adversity leads to lower resilience. In his study, participants with less experience of hardship found a task of submerging their hands in ice water more painful and unbearable, often because they doubted their ability to cope.
This principle applies to more significant life challenges as well. For example, men who found positives in their first heart attack, like a chance to reassess priorities, often had a greater appreciation for life and better health outcomes. Similarly, strong family relationships correlate with a lower risk of subsequent heart attacks.
Viewing stress positively can significantly improve coping abilities. Instead of resorting to ineffective avoidance strategies, those who see the upside in stressful situations are more proactive and show healthier physical responses to stress. They experience faster recovery times and are at a reduced risk of depression, heart attacks, and other diseases. This highlights the importance of mindset in dealing with stress and challenges.
Major Takeaway
McGonigal's perspective is underpinned by various studies and aligns with historical philosophies that stress is an integral part of life. By changing our mindset towards stress, we can harness it as a tool for resilience and growth. She encourages practical steps to shift our mindset about stress, suggesting that acknowledging our resources, connecting with others, and keeping our highest values in mind can transform our experience of stress from something to be feared into something that can be beneficial and empowering
Video Insight from the Author
Spare few minutes and let Kelly McGonigal reinforce your knowledge about "The Upside of Stress".
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